The Information Commissioner is proposing an overhaul in the use of small print by businesses. We have helped many customers over the years to add clarity to their terms and conditions. Here are some of our observations.
Every day people are booking travel tickets online but how many actually read the small print before buying? Consider this paragraph from one of the largest online rail ticket sellers:
If you use this Website as a result of an agreement between your employer/firm and us (your “Employer’s Agreement”) and these terms conflict with the terms of your Employer’s Agreement, the terms of your Employer’s Agreement will apply instead of these terms to the extent of the conflict. To the extent that there is no conflict these terms will continue to apply.
Did you read this? Would you read the other 3500 words as well? I doubt if anyone would.
It’s encouraging to learn that the Information Commissioner (ICO press release) is calling for an overhaul of small print following research that reveals that half of consumers don’t understand what they’re signing up for.
Thinking about the reader
Recently I was doing some copywriting for a new consumer retail website. The job I least looked forward to was writing the terms and conditions page.
I checked out similar pages on other websites to see how other companies tackle them. On one I found that the information relating to the security of online transactions ran to three hundred words. This explained secure 'sockets layer (SSL) security'.
For most people this text was meaningless. And for those ‘in the know’ this was totally inadequate. So when writing about online security for my project I decided to keep it very simple. I reassured customers that industry standard levels of online security were in place and mentioned SSL and left it at that. I could, if I felt it necessary, have linked to a more detailed explanation elsewhere.
Companies need to think about its readers and only give them what they really need to know.
Cutting through the legalese
Many websites resort to standard legal phrases and jargon which can be quite meaningless for the typical reader. Fastway Couriers was a winner of the Plain English Campaign’s ‘Golden Bull Awards’ in 2007 for the following paragraph from its terms and conditions:
‘The Carrier shall not be liable for injury or damage to or destruction or loss of the Goods or any other property arising out of or incidental to or in connection with or occurring during the provision of the Services or for the mis-delivery or nondelivery of the Goods and whether or not caused or contributed to by the default (including negligence) of the Carrier or any agent, servant or officer of the Carrier or any other person entitled to the benefit of these conditions.’
When given the choice, I prefer using a company that has very clear and simple terms and conditions. Somehow I distrust the company that makes things difficult to understand.
Was all the legalese necessary. Quite simply the answer is no.
In the US, nearly 30 years ago, Professor Richard Wydick wrote in his article ‘Plain English for Lawyers’ - “We lawyers cannot write plain English. We use eight words to say what could be said in two. We use old, arcane phrases to express commonplace ideas. Seeking to be precise, we become redundant. Seeking to be cautious, we become verbose.”
A breath of fresh air
Our web writing training has meant that we’ve had the pleasure of working with both the Law Society of Scotland and the Law Society of England and Wales and it’s been very refreshing to discover that the legal profession is very anxious to simplify legal wording.
At long last many lawyers are happy to confirm that you can write clear terms and conditions in Plain English and it does not need a lawyer or complex legal phrases to make them stand up in a court of law. But since much can ride on their accuracy, it does make sense to ensure that all legal eventualities are covered by having them checked by a solicitor.
Clarity International
You may be interested to know that there is an organisation called Clarity International (www.clarity-international.net) which is a body of lawyers who specialise in writing legal material in Plain English. If we use lawyers belonging to this association then the whole legal profession might get the message.
When given the choice of where to buy goods or services, I prefer using a company that has very clear and simple terms and conditions. Somehow I distrust the company that makes things difficult to understand. What are they trying to hide? Are they going to spring something on me sometime in the future?
Transparency pays dividends
Virgin Mobile is one company that makes a real effort to make things clear for its customers. Here are a few of the unambiguous, easy-to-understand and helpful phrases it uses:
- We'll debit your card when we receive your order.
- In the event that we are unable to supply the goods to you, we'll let you know and refund the card.
- If your new phone or mobile broadband device goes wrong in that period and it’s covered by the warranty, we’ll do all the legwork for you to get it fixed.
The extra effort taken to do the job properly, I believe, can make a significant difference to people’s perceptions about an organisation and it can positively impact its trading.
At Writingfortheweb we have been training staff for ten years to write clearly and concisely. The only resistance I can recall was when one government official once said to me, “We don’t want this text to be easy to read because, if it was, more people would apply for the grant, and there isn’t enough money available.”
Well, you can’t please everybody!
Read my companion article How to write terms and conditions.